NZWA House Show 9-13-00

In Stereo Where Available*

NZWA House Show Results

NZWA Arena (9/13/00)

I was surprised at the beginning of the show for all the pryo, even the NZ Tron was up.

Even before the first match, "Walk" by Pantera starts blasting through the arena. The World tag champs, Keg and Barley Brews come out, minus Joolz, and start insulting everyone in the crowd. They go on about how they're the biggest and baddest tag team and yadda yadda yadda.

After making the dreaded "open challenge" for the tag belts, "Criminal" by Eminem begins playing and Zombie Jr comes out to much surprise. He says that he owes both of them an asskicking and runs to the ring, apparently accepting the challenge.

After several minutes of Jr getting his ass kicked by both Brews, the lights go out and then the stage explodes with pyro. I'm standing, as is everyone, and just as we all expected "Bullgod" by Kid Rock starts playing and Varjay runs out.

Varjay jumps in the ring and HELPS ZOMBIE JR? Wtf? Did I miss something? Anyway, he tags Jr and then tags him with a right knocking him out of the ring. Keg goes for a clothesline, but Var ducks and Keg gets a face full of chair from Jr, who I think was aiming at Varjay.

Varjay rolls Keg up from behind and gets the three! We have new World tag team champions and it's the two guys who hate each other. Well, the two guys running the fed that hate each other, anyway.

Varjay and Jr get handed the belts and start arguing. Varjay turns his back on Jr in the aisle and gets nailed in the back of the head with one of the title belts. The refs pull Jr off of Varjay, I think. Some large guy with a Kalee poster was blocking my view.

Some guy dressed like Tenay on a bad day claiming to represent the NZWA Championship Committee comes out and announces that there will be a tournament to decide a new NZWA US champion. He says that there will be eight seeds in the tournament and that qualifying matches for that tournament will be held tonight! The crowd went nuts and I spilled my coke, but for action like that it's allowed.

He also says that the main event will be a Triple Threat match to decide the number one contender for Dead Hardy's NZWA World Heavyweight title. He says that the two losers in the match will be receive seeds number one and two in the US title tournament being that the participants are all top contenders. He announces, finally, that the wrestlers involved are Mentski, Matango, and Husker Du.

<First NZWA US Title Tournament Qualifying Match>
Omegadawn (vs) Chameleon

Let me say that I didn't realize how big this guy Omegadawn is and he looks like a murdering madman. If I saw him in an alley, I would run. Hell, if I saw him in a Toys 'R Us I would run.

Chameleon comes out next, dressed as Goldberg again, and gets in the ring screaming at Omega that "he's next." He then turns his back on him, big mistake, and gets plastered from behind with a clothesline that nearly knocked his painted on tattoo off.

The big man then has the upper hand on Chameleon until he misses an elbow drop. Chameleon jumps up, nails him with the spear, and motions to the crowd that it's time for a jackhammer. What he didn't know was that his spear had no affect on Omega, who gives his own spear on "Chameleonberg." He then picks him up in a suplex dropping him into a piledriver, which I'm told is his finisher the Omega Bomb. Three count and Omega advances.

<Second NZWA US Title Tournament Qualifying Match>
Muted Beast (vs) Erci

This match lasted all of five minutes, which really pissed me off since I mark out for anyone with a sword.

Muted came to the ring first and scared off the referee, at least for a moment. Then as Erci came out and Muted attacked him. The bell rang and then all of a sudden some lady jumped over the guard rail with a sword and tried to cut Erci's head off. She ended up mauling Erci before he could get his bearings and in turn got Muted Beast DQ'd, which didn't sit well with him.

She ran away as soon as she appeared leaving Erci to get choked out by a very pissed off Beast. Beast then attacked the referees who came to break up the fight chasing one all the way to the back. I'm still wondering who the girl was. Erci advances via DQ.

<Third NZWA US Title Tournament Qualifying Match>
PORK SODA (vs) Eclipse

Eclipse came out first, with the damn chainsaw. Why do they let him get that close to the guard rail with a running chainsaw? Who's in charge of this?

Soda came out next. Serious guy and very impressive looking. He has the makings of a star, just ask him. Anyway, they start fighting right off the bat. Several high risk moves in this match, which was surprising given the size of these two guys. Eclipse dove off of the top turnbuckle and landed through a table nearly missing Soda. The way he landed I thought it broke his back.

They did finally get back in the ring and the ref got knocked down when Soda pulled him in between him and a Eclipse charge. Soda then grabbed Eclipse's chainsaw and blasted him over the head with it. Referee got back up in time to see Soda cover for the pin. Good match. Eclipse is one hell of a worker and this new guy has a bright future here. Soda wins and advances.

We had an intermission after that match and I needed a chilidog.

<Fourth NZWA US Title Tournament Qualifying Match>
Clingman (vs) Kalee

When they announced the participants I almost flipped, Kalee versus Clingman? Anyway, they both came to the ring. Cling with Kaz at his side and Kalee with her new man, Revelations. Kalee yelled insults at Kaz and Clingman didn't seem really bothered with her, but Revelations nailed him in the jaw after he pushed her. Kaz jumped on her father's back and they basically brawled before the bell.

Clingman dropkicked Rev out of the ring and blocked a low blow by Kalee. He then powerbombed her out of her mind and went for a half-ass cover, but she kicked out. He then bounced off of the ropes getting tripped by Revelations, which brought Kaz over again to fight with her dad.

Kalee then showed me she has more than just looks by springboarding off the top rope with a moonsault onto the fallen Clingman, but the ref was distracted. Clingman grabbed her from behind and planted her with a full nelson slam. As he covered, Rev threw Kaz into the ring which prompted the ref to get her out. Clingman got to his feet to argue, but turned around getting caught with a mafia kick from Revelations. Rev then rolled out of the ring pulling Kaz out. Kalee pulled the groggy Clingman up and planted him with a twist of fate. She then climbed up the turnbuckle and nailed him with a 450 splash. I'm told she calls this the "Screwjob." Anyway, she covered Clingman as Rev held Kaz. Three count and much to my and everyone else's surprise, Kalee wins advancing to the tournament.

<Fifth NZWA US Title Tournament Qualifying Match>
Joolz (vs) Angel

Joolz and Angel came to the ring fighting, literally. They met in the aisle and fought all the way down. The referee wasn't even ringside yet.

This was another short match. Joolz went for a hurracanrana, but was caught and planted by Angel with a powerbomb. Angel then pulled her up and over in a modified Boston crab, which she calls "The Love Bite." Joolz held on as long as she could, but eventually tapped out. The Lady of the Night wins and advances.

This is where I went to the john. Just thought you should know.

<Sixth NZWA US Title Tournament Qualifying Match>
Revelations (vs) Kaz

By the time I finally got back to my seat, this one was already going. I missed the beginning, but Clingman went for a missile dropkick on Rev while the ref was down. Kalee knocked him off the top rope and Kaz grabbed her pulling her into the ring. This allowed Revelations to grab his daughter from behind with a version of the Tazmission. The ref gets back up to see Kaz unconscious and calls for the bell. Your winner, Revelations.

<Triple Threat for Number One Contendership to the NZWA World title>
<Losers receive the final two seeds in the NZWA US Title Tournament>
Husker Du (vs) Matango (vs) Mentski

I swear the crowd exploded when each of these guys came out and everyone was chanting "Tango" when he appeared. Ski started out by nailing Tango in a bulldog right off the bat, but Husker broke up the count. This one spilled all over the arena. They fought in the crowd. They fought in the balcony above where I was sitting. In one hell of a bump, Ski was hurled off the balcony by Matango through a stack of tables. He proved he was a tough bastard just by getting up from that.

It did finally get back to the ring with Husker nailing the "Fall From Grace" on Tango, but Ski pulled the ref out of the ring. Husker nailed Ski with a baseball slide, but got nailed himself with a "Mushroom" from Tango when he turned around.

Matango went for the cover, but rolled off at two just missing getting flattened by Mentski, who dove off of the top rope landing on Husker. Ski gets clotheslined out of the ring and Tango covers Husker for the win. Matango is the No. 1 contender to the World title, hence getting the next title shot, and Mentski and Husker round out the US title tournament.

The show was really a big deal for it to be just a house show and why they kept the tournament or matches a secret is beyond me. On the good side, I get in these things for free. On the bad side, that chilidog gave me gas, but that's another story.

Beer is a food group and I'm your eye in the pie,

Jack "The Dick" Richards

"you are what you eat, so back away from the toilet"

Cheers!

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