NZWA House results from the NZWA Arena:
Before the show started Revelations and The Masked Man, the new announce
team for Darkness and Light, came out to work the crowd. I would have never
thought that those two could be that funny. Rev said that it wasn't bad
enough to carry MM in the ring all these years, but now he's got to carry
him at the announce table. MM said that since he is having to work with
Rev, he's glad he's in a mask.
The show started with Pyro and the crowd really pumped up chanting, "NZWA
NZWA." Then the house lights got killed and the stage exploded with more
pyro and "Bullgod" by Kid Rock started playing. All of DUI (Montyrob, Alley
Kat, Mr. Shadows, Zombie Jr, and Varjay) came out then and went down to the
ring. Once inside Zombie Jr got the mic first telling Mr. Shadows to wait
outside the ring.
Jr talked about how he would be NZWA World Champ if it wasn't for his
father, Zombie Sr. He said that Matango was lucky since he had him where he
wanted him and he was doing it hurt. Jr then called him and his other two
opponents in the match, Erci and Omegadawn, losers and said like his father,
they all had an ass-whipping in their future. Jr also made a crack about
Phoenix Delfeugo being "not a bad piece." Alley then hit him in the arm.
She then took the mic and said that there was only one queen of the NZWA and
it was her. She went on to run down every other woman in the NZWA and said
that Angel being US champ was a joke.
Varjay took the mic next and talked about his "easy win" over Malk-kind. He
said that he didn't eat his cheese before the match he guessed. He also
made fun of Erci in his kilt while Jr pranced around the ring like he was
wearing a skirt and holding it up. That was funny.
He said that Zombie Sr screwed Jr out of the World title and he was jealous
of what a superb wrestler his son was. He ran down Sr more and said that he
was the only one with any stroke around here.
By that time the crowd was chanting "Asshole asshole" partly because Varjay
is one, the other because they wanted him to shut up. Varjay went on making
vague references to Omegadawn saying something about putting the nail in his
coffin.
He asked Montyrob if he had anything to say and the big man said that he
wanted to kick someone's ass. Varjay asked him who and Rob said they would
find out when he drives them through the mat. Then Jr told him to kick his
mom, Cathy's, ass. Varjay said that she's already been thrown off a bridge
and that she was pregnant. Jr said that must have been one hell of a fish.
They then made fun of Cold Front until the lights went red and dim.
"Unforgiven" by Metallica began playing and Zombie Sr came out with all of
Cold Front (IceNine, Cathy, and Malk-kind). IceNine had the mic and said
that if they were finished that he would wake up the crowd so the show could
start. The crowd was already chanting "Front" and "Zombie."
Nine said that he was not only tired of their mouth, but that the tag titles
were tarnished by having two idiots as champions. He then said that if
Varjay and Jr had any balls that Cathy and him would be happy to take them
away from them tonight. The crowd exploded and Varjay tried to respond, but
he was cut off by Cathy.
She told them that is was bad enough that her son turned out the way he did,
but he had to have a tramp for a girlfriend. Alley made a motion like she
was going out of the ring, but Jr held her back. Cathy then asked them what
their answer was.
Before Varjay could answer Malk cut him off saying that he already knew they
didn't have the balls because they could take him on one on one. He said
that he ate his cheese and Varjay would soon eat his foot and Mr. Louis.
Sr then took the mic soaking up all the chants from the fans and said that
it didn't matter if they accepted because he already signed the match. DUI
went crazy stomping around mad in the ring. Sr said that Varjay and Jr
would defend that night against not only Cathy and IceNine, but The Brews
Brothers as well in a Triple Threat match. Also, if anyone injured Varjay
they would get a bonus. I9 asked him what kind of a bonus and Sr replied,
"bigger than you can spend." I9 started smiling.
Varjay called Sr a bastard and said that he was trying to take him out. Sr
replied, "Uh...yeah, duh," and flipped him off. Sr then said that he's back
and that from now on Varjay didn't run the whole show.
Varjay started to say something, but his mic was cut off and Sr told DUI to
enjoy the show because it was their last. Then all of Cold Front left to a
standing ovation while Varjay argued with David Penzer about the mic and DUI
doged trash thown at them.
Clingman and Kaz (vs) PORK SODA and Muted Beast
Clingman and Kaz came out first to cheers and the NZ Tron played footage of
them in weird romantic scenes like them running at each other in slow motion
on the beach and kissing standing over some wrestler knocked out.
Soda and Beast came out next and Pork got on the mic complaining that he was
screwed out of his US title. He also said that it was a step down for two
wrestlers of their ability to step in the ring with Cling and Kaz. Beast
took the mic and said that as Hellfire champ he should be in hellfire
matches and that Cling looked weaker in person that on tape.
Cling got a mic and told both of them to "shut the hell up." He said that
not only was their voices annoying, but that they're were the ugliest things
he had ever seen. Kaz agreed with him and they started kissing. Pork told
them to get a room and Kaz said that they would use theirs after him and
Beast were through. Cling then said that they couldn't because they would
have to burn it after they were through. Soda and Beast had enough and
jumped in the ring as the match got underway.
Not much of a tag match for tags as they all fought at the same time most of
the match. Soda nailed Kaz with a powerbomb, but only got two. Then Beast
went for an "Eternal Silencer" on Cling, but he wouldn't let go of the ropes
and threw Beast off the turnbuckle into the ring. Soda then ran at him and
they both fell out of the ring.
Kaz nailed Beast with a dropkick as he got back to his feet and went for a
cover, but only got one. She then whipped him into the corner and nailed
him with a knee to the head as Soda and Cling battled on the floor. Kaz
lifted Beast on the turnbuckle going for her finisher, but Beast blocked and
powerbombed her off of the top turnbuckle.
He went for the cover, but Cling jumped over the ropes hitting him with a
legdrop to break it up. Soda then grabbed Cling from behind and held him as
Beast charged at him with a spear. Cling moved out of the way and Beast
nailed Soda knocking him off the apron and into the railing. Cling then
superkicked Beast into the corner and turned around catching a running Kaz
throwing her over his head into Beast. In one smooth move she caught him
with a hurricanrana taking him down to the mat. Cling, who was perched on
the top turnbuckle, leaped off driving an elbow into Beast and Kaz covered
the Hellfire champion as Cling knocked Soda off of the apron again. Great
match!
Winners: Clingman and Kaz
Eclipse (vs) Bluefusion
Good match with several high spots, one of which was Eclipse getting knocked
off the top turnbuckle falling through a table at ringside.
Fusion proved to me that he might be the next breakout flyer of the NZWA,
maybe giving the resting Dead Hardy a run for his money. He hit three
powerbomb in succession and then lifted Eclipse up spinning around and
backwards throwing him into the turnbuckle face first. He then bounced off
of the top rope catching him with a leg scissors take down.
The action packed match ended with Fusion hitting "Full Fusion," his top
rope flipping neckbreaker maneuver, and getting the pinfall. Then Submonkey
ran out from the back attacking Fusion putting him in his "Seventh Heaven,"
double underhook pulling piledriver move in the ring. Sub then kept
stomping Fusion until the referees came down to break it up.
After the match, Omegadawn came out with a new eerie ring entrance with red
smoke. He had the same music, but it looked cool as hell. He started
talking about his lost lady and what he was going to do to Varjay, but then
he said that another matter had come up and Varjay could wait awhile to die.
Omega then started talking about how Matango was lucky. How he should be in
a morgue somewhere, but managed to escape with his life and his title at
Darkness. Omega said that he didn't want to "put an end to the Tango," but
he was getting tired of his big mouth. He said that there isn't anyone else
in the NZWA with his power or his hunger and that all he had to do is want
and the World title would be his.
Of course, "Remember the Name" blasted through the arena and Tango came out.
The crowd exploded and chants of "Tango Tango Tango" was the only thing that
you could hear. Hell, I couldn't hear NZWA Boy and he was yelling right
beside me.
Tango said that it wasn't bad enough that we had to look at Omega, but we
had to listen to him too. He went on to run Omega down a little once
calling him Omegadumbass. He also said that if Omega wanted him, he wasn't
hard to find.
Omega replied that he had already proved to him that Tango was "flyshit" in
his eyes and that he didn't have any reason to end his life. Omega went on
to say that he proved at Darkness that neither Tango, Erci, or Zombie Jr was
any match for him.
Tango said that the only thing he proved to him was that he the most
uncoordinated asshole he had ever wrestled, this visibly pissed off Omega.
Tango then asked the crowd if they wanted to see him kick Omega's ass, which
they exploded "yes." Tango then said he was willing to put up the title.
Omega was about to answer when "Here We Are" rang out and Erci walked out
from behind the side of the entrance ramp. The Highlander said that neither
of them proved shit to him and HE should be the rightful champion.
Tango told him to go "shag a sheep" and Omega told Erci that he was playing
with what little time he had left, whatever that meant. Erci called them
both cowards and Omega started walking down the aisle toward him.
Matango told them not to fight because the crowd didn't need to see two old
women go at it. He then told Erci that if he would wear a little makeup
with his skirt and he might finally get a man. Tango then said that he
would kick both their asses and make them both "remember the name, Matango."
Tango left to the back as several referees held Omegadawn and Erci apart.
<NZWA US title Match>
Dingo (vs) Angel (champ)
Ding spent the first few minutes of the match telling Angel, and the crowd
as he was on the mic, that she doesn't deserve to be champ. Angel told him
to do something about it then and dove over the top rope on top of him on
the floor. Then she picked him up and threw him into the steps.
After brawling on the floor, they finally got back into the ring with Dingo
planting her with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He went for a cover, but only
got two. They had a good series of moves with Angel hitting a DDT and two
neckbreakers, but Dingo blocking a third and catching her with a full nelson
slam.
Dingo then lifted her up onto the turnbuckle and went for his DDT off the
top rope, but Angel blocked and they both fell off with Dingo taking most of
the fall to the mat. Angel then hooked him in the "Love Bite," but some guy
dressed like a hippy ran out and clotheslined her out of her socks. The ref
called for the bell and this guy lifted her over his head pressing her at
least four times before throwing her out of the ring into the crowd.
Dingo got up and argued with him because he got him disqualified, but the
hippy guy kicked him between the legs and then planted him with a DDT. I
have no idea who this guy was, but I'm sure we'll find out.
Winner and still US Champion: Angel by DQ
Phoenix Delfeugo (vs) Alley Kat, the Devil Kitty
Alley came down to the ring and called out Delfeugo. Phoenix came out and
Alley told her that she made her sick. She also said something about a
shoving her sword up her ass. Anyway, Alley challenged her and Phoenix
accepted.
Several high risk moves in the match. Alley hit a moonsault on Phoenix
flying nearly all the way across the ring, but only got two. Phoenix to her
credit drove the Devil Kitty into the mat with a spinning powerbomb and then
flipped off the turnbuckle with a flying legdrop.
The match ended with Alley charging Phoenix in the corner, but getting
nailed with a sidekick. Delfeugo planted her with a michinoku driver and
then came off the top rope with her awesome "Skytwister Press" move. It was
all academic after that.
Winner: Phoenix Delfeugo
After the match, Zombie Jr ran out and grabbed Phoenix. I don't have any
idea what he was about to do, but Erci ran out and chased both him and a
groggy Alley from ringside with his sword.
Kalee (vs) Joolz
This was a weird one. Joolz seemed distracted most of the match and kept
yelling over and over that "he was coming." Also, Kalee seemed more
preoccupied with posing for the crowd than wrestling her opponent. It was
five or ten minutes after they came out before the match started.
Revelations wasn't at ringside, which was odd.
When the action did start it didn't disappoint anyone. Kalee superplexed
Joolz off of the turnbuckle, but only got two. Joolz then blocked a
powerbomb attempt and flipped Kalee over in to a boston crab, but Kalee made
it to the ropes.
The ending of the match was weird too. Kalee had just hit the twist of fate
and was motioning for the "Screwjob" when the arena went dark and the NZ
Tron started flashing pictures of flames and a shadow standing in the
center. Everyone was distracted, including Kalee and the ref. When Kalee
turned around she was nailed by Joolz and what appeared to be a pair of
brass knuckles. Joolz put them in her tights and covered Kalee as the ref
was turning around.
After the three count Revelations came down and told the ref that Joolz used
a foreign object. He said that it was in Joolz's tights. Joolz told him to
prove it, but neither the ref nor Rev would go into her tights and she
laughed at them while leaving the ring. Revelations pushed the referee and
helped Kalee to her feet.
Winner: Joolz
It was announced after this match that the main event was a Triple Threat
match for the NZWA World title with Matango defending against Omegadawn and
Erci. The crowd, as well as myself, exploded at the news.
<Triple Threat Match for the NZWA World Tag Team Title>
The Brews Brothers (vs) Cathy and IceNine (vs) Varjay and Zombie Jr (champs)
Keg and Barley Brews came out first and told that crowd that they didn't
give a damn about the Front because they were the best tag team. Barley,
who had one of his arms in a cast, said they've been waiting for this
rematch for too long as Keg finished a beer and threw the can into the
crowd.
IceNine and Cathy came out next and immediately began fighting with the
Brews. They battled all over the ring with Keg and Cathy falling out onto
the floor. I9 ducked a Barley clothesline and bounced off of the ropes
nailing him with a spinning elbow.
Varjay and Zombie Jr came out next, with chairs in hand. They then sat down
at the top of the entrance ramp and Little V brought them out popcorn. They
acted like they were watching tv or something making fun of the action in
the ring and throwing popcorn when Cathy piledrove Keg on the arena floor.
In the ring I9 hit Barley with his TDD, the Thermal Death Drop, and went for
the cover. Varjay stood up in his seat and the ref looked toward the ramp.
He then looked down at I9's cover when Nine yelled at him, but he refused to
count. Varjay then high fived Jr and then sat back down.
I9 got up and looked at the ramp then back at the ref. He grabbed the ref
and threw him out of the ring. The ref then got back up and DQed I9 calling
the match over. Varjay and Jr started laughing at them all in the ring as
the fans called "Bullshit Bullshit."
Then Zombie Sr appeared on the NZ Tron and said that the match wouldn't end
like that. Varjay and Jr threw popcorn at the Tron. Sr said that he was
reinstating the match and called for a new referee. Sr said that if Var and
Jr didn't get in the ring in five seconds that he was stripping them of the
titles. Varjay yelled at Sr on screen as he began to count. They ran down
and rolled into the ring flipping off Sr on the Tron. They then turned
around to be met by four pissed off contenders who then mauled them. The
Brews took Varjay while I9 and Cathy took Jr. Sr then called for his
referee and it was Jayrock!
Jayrock ran down to the ring in a ref's shirt while Jr was being thrown over
the top rope and to the floor. In the ring Keg and Barley threw Varjay into
the ropes and then drove him into the mat with a double spinebuster slam.
They then motioned for their double chokeslam, "Destruction." They then
caught Varjay and planted him into the mat with Keg going for the pin, but
I9 pulled Jayrock out of the ring before he could count.
Barley then reached over the ropes pulling I9 inside and they did a double
suplex on him. This brought Cathy in and she hit Keg with a chair. Jayrock
tried to take the chair away, but she pushed him down. He then pushed her
back and she hit him with the chair.
Barley nailed Cathy from behind with his cast, but got hit himself when I9
charged and took all three of them out of the ring. Keg was getting to his
feet, but so was Varjay and Jr crept back into the ring. They crossed the
ropes around Keg and Varjay jumped in the air nailing Keg with a flying
clothesline as Jr shoulderblocked his Keg's feet out from under him at the
same time. It looked like it broke his neck when he doubled over.
Cathy was then trying to climb up on the apron, but Jr nailed her with the
chair while he was walking over to the corner. Then with Keg laying in the
center of the ring, Varjay climbed one turnbuckle and Zombie Jr the other
across from him. They then flipped off the turnbuckle backwards with a
double moonsault on Keg one hitting him in the chest, the other in the legs.
It was one hell of a move and after the show I was told they're callling it
the "Red Death." Jr covered Keg as Varjay caught I9 trying to come in the
ring with a VarHammer. Jayrock looked at Varjay and then hit the mat
counting the pinfall. Varjay and Jr started laughing and left the ring.
Winners and still World Tag champs: Varjay and Zombie Jr
As they left, Cathy rolled back into the ring with the chair and clobbered
Jayrock over the head with it. Jr and Varjay looked back, but just waved it
off and left Jayrock to get beaten up in the ring.
Barley helped his brother Keg to his feet during this and they attacked
Cathy putting her in the "Chiropractor's Dream," which brought boos from the
crowd. They then flipped off the crowd before leaving.
<Triple Threat Match for the NZWA World Title>
Erci (vs) Omegadawn (vs) Matango (champ)
After what turned out to be a pretty awesome tag match, the crowd was primed
and pumped for a World title match. Erci made his way out first and then
Omegadawn. Tango came out next sporting his new "Big Tango" t-shirt, which
I hear is selling quiet nicely. All three just stood in opposite corners
and stared at each other as I noticed there was no referee.
It was about then that "Unforgiven" started playing and Zombie Sr came out
with the referee. He announced that the match was no DQ and no countout.
Omega got in Sr's face and Sr pushed him away as Tango nailed him in the
back of the head. Sr then told the ref to call for the bell and the match
was on.
Erci grabbed Tango from behind and took him over in a release german suplex.
Erci then grabbed Tango's left arm and applied the "Crossface." Tango
couldn't reach the ropes and was in the center of the ring. He looked like
he was about to tap out when Omega dropped an elbow into the back of Erci's
neck breaking the hold.
Omegadawn lifted Erci up in a suplex and held him vertical for a several
minutes before just letting him fall the mat with a thud. He then bounced
off the ropes going for what appeared to be a splash or knee drop, but Tango
jumped in his way and flipped him over with a belly to belly suplex.
The big man jumped to his feet, but Tango clotheslined him down again and
again and again. The fouth time Omega just fell backwards to the mat.
Tango ran flipping over landing on the fallen Omega with a senton splash.
He then went for a cover, but Omega kicked out and Erci dropkicked Tango
right in the face.
Erci then spun around nailing the rising Omega with a spin heel kick, but it
only knocked him against the ropes. He then whipped Omega across the ring
missing a flying clothesline as Omega ducked. Erci bounced off the ropes
getting caught and planted by the big man in one hell of a powerslam. Omega
then turned around and ran at Tango, but got picked up and slammed in a
samoan drop by the Big Tango.
Matango climbed up onto the second rope and jumped off driving a knee right
into Omega's chest. Much to everyone and Tango's suprise Omegadawn jumped
back up to his feet, although a little groggy, and charged at him. Tango
ducked a clothesline, picked him up, and spun around planting him with a
spinebuster slam. Erci then ran at Tango, but the Champ backdropped him
over the ropes and out of the ring.
Motioning to the crowd that it was time for the "Mushroom," Tango let Omega
get to his feet. He then wrapped his arms around his neck from behind, but
Omegadawn grabbed him around the waist and rolled through it. He then
lifted Tango up and jumped in the air planting him with a tombstone
piledriver.
The crowd started screaming and Omega turned around to see Erci
springboarding off the top rope at him, but he caught him in mid air and
slammed him down in a powerbomb. Omega then picked Erci up and nailed the
"Omegabomb" on him in the center of the ring. Tango tried to get up, but
Omega grabbed him lifting him up over his head and threw him out of the ring
hard on to the arena floor. The crowd then sprang to it's feet as Omega
drove a big elbow into Erci's fallen frame and went for the cover.
But then Varjay ran out from the back with a sledgehammer, the heel's choice
or so it seems nowadays, and jumped in the ring slamming it down into
Omega's back. He doubled over in pain, but rolled over and got to his feet!
Omega showed a lot of heart taking the first blow, but Varjay showed no
remorse blasting him upside the head. This time the big guy didn't get up.
Sr, who was at ringside for all of this, had rolled in the ring by now. He
yelled at Varjay and told him that he wasn't involved in this match. Varjay
shot Sr the middle finger while telling him that he was the idiot that made
it a no DQ and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Sr told
Varjay that it would end right there and told Var to throw down the
sledgehammer and fight. Varjay threw it down and they tied up, but Sr
didn't see his son, Zombie Jr, rolling into the ring behind him.
Jr picked up the sledgehammer and nailed his own father in the back two
times. Sr doubled over and Varjay hooked him driving him into the mat with
a VarHammer. This brought out Cold Front, but I9 and Malk were ambushed by
Montyrob and Mr. Shadows from the side of the entrance ramp with lead pipes.
Cathy didn't see and ran down to the ring nailing Varjay with a clothesline
that sent him reeling over the top rope.
This got the crowd excited, but Cathy then turned around to get plastered by
her son and the sledgehammer. Jr then stood over his parents and spit on
them raising the sledgehammer in the air. He didn't see Erci getting to his
feet behind him and the Highlander speared him from behind driving him into
the corner.
Erci had Jr in the corner choking him, but Alley, who had came out with Rob
and Shadows, jumped on his back scratching his eyes. This brought Phoenix
Delfeugo out from somewhere and she pulled the Devil Kitty off throwing her
out of the ring. She even kicked Varjay knocking him off the apron.
Erci then turned to see Phoenix, but was bulldogged by Jr. Phoenix
sidekicked him down, but was grabbed from behind by Varjay. He hooked both
her arms for the VarHammer, but Jr stopped him. Varjay and Jr actually
argued and Varjay acted like he was going to let her go, but gave her the
VarHammer anyway.
Jr pushed Varjay as Erci jumped on him nailing Var over and over again with
rights, but helped his partner by grabbing Erci from behind. Then they did
a double brainbuster on Erci knocking him out.
The two then turned around to see Sr on his feet with the sledghammer in his
hand and Cathy getting to her feet. They then jumped out of the ring and
ran down the aisle with Sr and Cathy on their tail. They even ran by the
brawl at the entrance ramp.
By that time neither me, the crowd, or the ref knew what the hell was going
on, but the match hadn't officially ended. Tango who had been clutching his
side on the floor then managed to roll in the ring and cover Erci. A three
count later, Tango retained and ended one crazy mixed up title match.
As usual one hell of a NZWA show. Any time you have the chance to see the
NZWA live, you need to take it. They totally rock and I haven't been
disappointed yet.
Well, that's all the report unless you want to hear about NZWA Boy and me
getting drunk at a bar after the show.
Well, Mean Gene was there.....hehe
Jack "The Dick" Richards
your eye in the pie
"You are what you eat, so back away from the toliet"
NZWA Today
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